Like any floundering politicians, though, the Gemstones have to turn to their big donors first. (“The smoke was green from some of the butt plugs,” complains Keefe.) Meanwhile, Judy’s five-state performance tour has led her to embrace the rock-star excess of dry-humping her guitarist twice and kissing him three times, leaving her with some proximation of guilt for betraying BJ.
That leaves Kelvin and Keefe marveling over foot-long dildos and other sex toys before tossing them into a toxic fire pit. Kelvin’s yen for inadvertently homoerotic youth-pastor work continues with “Smut Busters,” an army of young people he and Keefe have recruited to take down porn shops along the I-95 corridor by robbing them of stock. His siblings are off on their own projects. (BJ’s success in pitching auto-deducted tithing at the Welcome Center makes him seem more competent than his Gemstone spouse, too.)Īt least Jesse seems to have his focus directed at turning things around. (Jesse retorts, “What if we’re not Leno? What if we’re just Conan?”) But the episode suggests that Amber might be the more spotlight-ready of the two: As Jesse fumes, Amber is out turning their Christian marriage-counseling meetings from last season into “The System,” which offers couples a path to “a happy and healthy marriage in the eyes of the Lord” for the low price of $500 for a “starter kit,” and presumably much more once they get deeper into the program. Amber tries to lend her support to Jesse, comparing the situation to the time Jay Leno took over for Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show and enjoyed a long run at the top of late night after his initial fumbles. The immediate problem for the Gemstone siblings is that the church has hemorrhaged attendees and donors since they took over for their father, and “dismal” poll numbers suggest that they lack the charisma and ingenuity to bring them back.
With the thriving Zion resort looking like Ned Flanders’s answer to an all-inclusive Caribbean vacation, there are new souls to save and new revenue streams to establish this season. (They have that in common with the Roys, too.) Because Eli has not bequeathed his empire to any one of them, they’re now the three stooges of the televangelist world, stepping awkwardly on each other’s toes at Sunday service while trying to work different angles on their own time. That’s more of an existential question on The Righteous Gemstones than Succession, because Waystar Royco doesn’t necessarily need a Roy to operate, but the Gemstones are a true family business, so Jesse, Judy, or Kelvin - or some combination of the three - will have to follow Eli as “America’s Jesus Daddy.” And the third season begins with this fresh, dynamic, cool Gemstone trio flailing desperately to do the job despite their previous confidence that their old man might be losing a step.
The question is whether the younger generation can keep the money hose on. The Roys may be too snooty to invite the Gemstones to their Manhattan soirées, but they’re shaking down the same people: It’s easy to imagine legions of Evangelicals on their couches, flipping between ATN news and the megachurch currently deducting a monthly “tithing” charge from their bank accounts. They’re essentially the same show, each about the efforts of three wealthy, inept failchildren to take over their father’s empire, and each a flamboyantly profane satire of American greed and exploitation. The shame of The Idol taking over the Sunday slot after Succession ended was not merely the sudden drop in cabin pressure, but the unfortunate timing - a few weeks before Succession’s true companion, The Righteous Gemstones, kicked off its third season.
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